Ok, so for some reason the word grace had been in my spirit lately. I went to dictionary.com and looked up the word just to see what it meant. According to dictionary.com, grace is defined as the following from a theological standpoint:
a. The freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b. The influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
c. The virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces.
d. Also called the state of grace, the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.
Grace in my opinion means to extend favor toward a situation in which it is undeserved or unmerited. In the classroom, if a student has shown effort in the time period toward their work and takes pride in it, then I am more likely to extend grace to that student, though they may not necessarily deserve it.
Why is it that we find it so hard to extend grace to others? Do we honestly feel that we are owed that much that we are not in a position to extend grace to others? Just a random thought...maybe I will expound on it as I walk the walk....
Monday, December 13, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
The Broken Building
I had a dream 4 years ago that I still remember very vividly to this day. In my dream, I saw how over a short period of time, a building under which I was standing crumbled. The thing is, nothing catastrophic happened. It was a simple crack in the pillars that held the building together that crumbled one by one. The amazing thing is that the dream never showed the building being reconstructed, and I have never had another dream like it.
That dream though it was brief, however brief showed me a few things. It took a brief time for the building to crumble. In the body of Christ, if we are not constantly feeding ourselves with the Word, then our spiritual lives will crumble. This is not to sound super spiritual, but to state fact. It happens even in the workplace. If an employee works in a company where they are not being nurtured properly, they will wither and die, or they will find other means of recourse. We must constantly check to ensure that we are growing and moving forward. This requires work because we have to look inside ourselves to do so and face some hard truths about ourselves.
Secondly, the crumbling of the building was not an overnight one. Buildings do not fall without notice. In other words, there are signs associated with the process. In either situation, dissatisfaction is one of the biggest red flags that can be thrown. If a person constantly complains, then there lies a cause of their complaint, and chances are they are not happy with their current situation.
It takes longer for a building to be rebuilt than one that was torn down. My dream never showed this part, yet I know that this is a process. One of my church members built a restaurant in about 4 months. Yet, there were tornadoes in my town that destroyed houses. While the houses were rebuilt, it was a process to reconstruct things to the way they once were. It was a process to restore those things to their rightful place. I had a situation occur in my professional life that shook me to my core. While I have since picked up the pieces and moved forward, there are still some places that have to be rebuilt. The trouble is, I didn't know those areas needed to be rebuilt. I just knew that something was missing and I couldn't put my finger on what it was. That's when the impact hit me full throttle.
While the tornado victims' homes were rebuilt, it may be a day where they are looking for something that they lost in that tragedy before it hits them the impact of what has happened to them in the storm. However, the tornado victims had an advantage: they were determined to pick up the pieces and do the work to restore their homes to their rightful place. If only we were so grateful for the grace of God here, because He does it for us. We just get so wrapped up in the social constructs of what has happened to us that we feel it is hard to rebuild the buildings that have been torn down in our lives. We simply have to remember our foundation and move from there. In my dream, the foundation was never shaken. As I move, I intend to remember my true foundation and continue from there.
That dream though it was brief, however brief showed me a few things. It took a brief time for the building to crumble. In the body of Christ, if we are not constantly feeding ourselves with the Word, then our spiritual lives will crumble. This is not to sound super spiritual, but to state fact. It happens even in the workplace. If an employee works in a company where they are not being nurtured properly, they will wither and die, or they will find other means of recourse. We must constantly check to ensure that we are growing and moving forward. This requires work because we have to look inside ourselves to do so and face some hard truths about ourselves.
Secondly, the crumbling of the building was not an overnight one. Buildings do not fall without notice. In other words, there are signs associated with the process. In either situation, dissatisfaction is one of the biggest red flags that can be thrown. If a person constantly complains, then there lies a cause of their complaint, and chances are they are not happy with their current situation.
It takes longer for a building to be rebuilt than one that was torn down. My dream never showed this part, yet I know that this is a process. One of my church members built a restaurant in about 4 months. Yet, there were tornadoes in my town that destroyed houses. While the houses were rebuilt, it was a process to reconstruct things to the way they once were. It was a process to restore those things to their rightful place. I had a situation occur in my professional life that shook me to my core. While I have since picked up the pieces and moved forward, there are still some places that have to be rebuilt. The trouble is, I didn't know those areas needed to be rebuilt. I just knew that something was missing and I couldn't put my finger on what it was. That's when the impact hit me full throttle.
While the tornado victims' homes were rebuilt, it may be a day where they are looking for something that they lost in that tragedy before it hits them the impact of what has happened to them in the storm. However, the tornado victims had an advantage: they were determined to pick up the pieces and do the work to restore their homes to their rightful place. If only we were so grateful for the grace of God here, because He does it for us. We just get so wrapped up in the social constructs of what has happened to us that we feel it is hard to rebuild the buildings that have been torn down in our lives. We simply have to remember our foundation and move from there. In my dream, the foundation was never shaken. As I move, I intend to remember my true foundation and continue from there.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The Butterfly Effect
One of the things I have always found interesting is how one event, one action, one thought or perception can change or alter life as you know it. As adults we often say we want others to be honest with us regarding decisions that are made. But when we receive information and are forced to make a decision, are we really prepared for the consequences that follow? Is the practice of accountability for one's actions truly in place?
I just learned that someone was dismissed for actions that took place outside their normal routine. What's shocking is not the dismissal but the expectation that one would not be held to a standard as to have discipline and respect for their position. Have we become so jaded that this is our norm? To expect that what goes on in privacy has no effect on the light?
In any event, be it personal or professional, perception holds a lot of weight behind events that take place. The irony is that perception is just that, PERCEPTION. At some point in time, one has to step outside themselves and look at the larger picture. For the employee that was dismissed, did that person ever think that a small action would have such a large effect? At what point do we actually look at the consequences of our actions?
A while back, I watched the movie, The Butterfly Effect. The movie focuses on small decisions that have a large impact on the lives of the characters. The crux of the movie is focused on trying to get things back to the way they were originally. The interesting thing is, they never return. The parallel is the same with life. All we have are choices and decisions that lead to more choices and decisions. They all have consequences. We must be willing and able to live with whatever comes our way. To do that, we must be deliberate in our actions. This is a lesson I am learning. I am the person that 'shoots first and asks questions later' and some situations are not as black and white. We have a moral responsibility, an obligation to show decency and courtesy toward one another, otherwise our decisions are one after another, creating chaos.
I just learned that someone was dismissed for actions that took place outside their normal routine. What's shocking is not the dismissal but the expectation that one would not be held to a standard as to have discipline and respect for their position. Have we become so jaded that this is our norm? To expect that what goes on in privacy has no effect on the light?
In any event, be it personal or professional, perception holds a lot of weight behind events that take place. The irony is that perception is just that, PERCEPTION. At some point in time, one has to step outside themselves and look at the larger picture. For the employee that was dismissed, did that person ever think that a small action would have such a large effect? At what point do we actually look at the consequences of our actions?
A while back, I watched the movie, The Butterfly Effect. The movie focuses on small decisions that have a large impact on the lives of the characters. The crux of the movie is focused on trying to get things back to the way they were originally. The interesting thing is, they never return. The parallel is the same with life. All we have are choices and decisions that lead to more choices and decisions. They all have consequences. We must be willing and able to live with whatever comes our way. To do that, we must be deliberate in our actions. This is a lesson I am learning. I am the person that 'shoots first and asks questions later' and some situations are not as black and white. We have a moral responsibility, an obligation to show decency and courtesy toward one another, otherwise our decisions are one after another, creating chaos.
Monday, November 29, 2010
My Revelations 19:1
When the world has tossed me away, and I come into my own, it is your face I see.
When I have no place to come to, you give me shelter
How did I get so lucky? Bought with a price, debt paid in full…
How can dark days overtake me? How can heaviness bloom?
You are the one, the face I see.
The mere attempt to understand, simply amazes me.
When the world has tossed me away, and I come into my own, it is your face I see.
Those days when I feel less than, I come home to your loving gaze, outstretched arms and warm caress and….
It makes me whole.
I look around and wonder, who could it be?
The one who’s so in love with me?
You see past all my flaws to the heart of me…
And yet still, it’s you I see.
I am so imperfect…and yet to you so perfectly, fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am yours, bought with a price
Although there were impostors and imitators, there can only be one originator…
When the world has tossed me away, and I come into my own, it’s your face I see.
When all others have passed away, yet you stand
Mighty as an oak tree blowing against the wind.
The mere experience perplexes me,
No matter the time, the hour, the day…
I need thee, oh I need thee…every hour, I need thee…
You stand yet with open arms to heal every wound, seen and unseen…
With your healing hands, you cleanse me
All for your admiration.
Why would I have ever doubted you?
You have shown yourself true blue.
Even through the smoky haze, it’s always you…
When the world has tossed me away, and I come into my own, it’s your face I see.
The revelation is simply beyond me.
Simply because I have been chosen…
November 28, 2009 11:42 pm.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Dark Stranger
As I stared into his eyes, I knew, I knew…I knew…
He was just the right type, tall dark and sexy
He was just the right build with the mix of mocha
Dressed to the nines and the smell to match…right up my alley
And yet, something was mysterious about him.
Was it, the way he walked? The way he talked? His style of dress?
I couldn’t shake the feeling that…
There was something different about this man
Or was it?
As I watched him walk away,
I wondered..
Was there something different, or did I just want to see it?
The crazy thing about it is this: prior to this time, never once did you cross my mind
Never once did you have that light
So, what is it? What is the thing that makes you different?
The question plagues me
As I began to undress, again you crossed my mind…
Why now? Why this?
Its funny how the mind works…
How it plays tricks,
Making you think you want what you don’t need
While at the same time rejecting what is meant for you
We think we have control but control has us
He makes us think that its no big deal, when its really quite the opposite
And at the end of the tunnel, he makes us think that we cant come back, won’t come back, shouldn’t come back…be careful of the tall mocha
He has a way of sneaking up on you…making you think your thoughts are you own,
When really they are his creation
Make you think those are your desires
And before you know it, you have been jacked, hemmed and played…
And knowing all this, I still wonder, what is it about this one?
Why is this one so different?
Maybe because this one isn’t it…
watch his ways, his actions, his thoughts
before you find yourself gone too far....only the dark stranger...
Written September 29, 2010 by Tenisha Godley
He was just the right type, tall dark and sexy
He was just the right build with the mix of mocha
Dressed to the nines and the smell to match…right up my alley
And yet, something was mysterious about him.
Was it, the way he walked? The way he talked? His style of dress?
I couldn’t shake the feeling that…
There was something different about this man
Or was it?
As I watched him walk away,
I wondered..
Was there something different, or did I just want to see it?
The crazy thing about it is this: prior to this time, never once did you cross my mind
Never once did you have that light
So, what is it? What is the thing that makes you different?
The question plagues me
As I began to undress, again you crossed my mind…
Why now? Why this?
Its funny how the mind works…
How it plays tricks,
Making you think you want what you don’t need
While at the same time rejecting what is meant for you
We think we have control but control has us
He makes us think that its no big deal, when its really quite the opposite
And at the end of the tunnel, he makes us think that we cant come back, won’t come back, shouldn’t come back…be careful of the tall mocha
He has a way of sneaking up on you…making you think your thoughts are you own,
When really they are his creation
Make you think those are your desires
And before you know it, you have been jacked, hemmed and played…
And knowing all this, I still wonder, what is it about this one?
Why is this one so different?
Maybe because this one isn’t it…
watch his ways, his actions, his thoughts
before you find yourself gone too far....only the dark stranger...
Written September 29, 2010 by Tenisha Godley
The Wall
How can you know me?
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?
Maybe you have, but I would never know
The wall, you see, will stop any growth
Stop any movement through place and time
The thing about a wall is that you will find
Everything you want is on the other side.
I asked…
How can I know you?
I only see what you desire
How can I show you?
That I have been through the fire…
And I have but you will never know
I once had a wall and it stopped all growth
All movement through place and time
The thing I found about a wall is that
Everything I desired was on the other side
I formed it because I was hurt
And didn’t want anyone to see
The things that buried were deep inside me.
And even through and through
The light was shed, true blue.
The wall had to fall,
Or I wouldn’t learn at all.
So how can I know you?
I see what you desire.
How can I show you?
I have been through the fire.
Even with my wall,
It had to fall,
But not for me, for you to see.
My path doesn’t have to be your path
My story shouldn’t be your story
From my pain you can gain
Those things, so He can receive glory.
So, I do know you
I can see you
I can show you
I have been through the fire
That wall, that place inside
The wall is used as a place to hide.
It’s a paradox, the wall, you see
Because has you hide, your spirit says come find me….
The response was…
…No one cares, no knows how I feel
And you say you do, are you for real?
So I with my wall, ensure you stay away
Its all a part of the act I play
To protect myself, this my plan
With my wall, I seek to ban
Those who get too close to me
I need that wall now, don’t you see?
So how can you know me?
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?
I said…
Yes, I have but you would never know
When I dropped that wall, I was able to grow
And move through place and time
And I found all my desires on the other side.
Started February 18, 2008 at 11:22 pm…finished April 8, 2008 at 11:45 pm by Tenisha Godley
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?
Maybe you have, but I would never know
The wall, you see, will stop any growth
Stop any movement through place and time
The thing about a wall is that you will find
Everything you want is on the other side.
I asked…
How can I know you?
I only see what you desire
How can I show you?
That I have been through the fire…
And I have but you will never know
I once had a wall and it stopped all growth
All movement through place and time
The thing I found about a wall is that
Everything I desired was on the other side
I formed it because I was hurt
And didn’t want anyone to see
The things that buried were deep inside me.
And even through and through
The light was shed, true blue.
The wall had to fall,
Or I wouldn’t learn at all.
So how can I know you?
I see what you desire.
How can I show you?
I have been through the fire.
Even with my wall,
It had to fall,
But not for me, for you to see.
My path doesn’t have to be your path
My story shouldn’t be your story
From my pain you can gain
Those things, so He can receive glory.
So, I do know you
I can see you
I can show you
I have been through the fire
That wall, that place inside
The wall is used as a place to hide.
It’s a paradox, the wall, you see
Because has you hide, your spirit says come find me….
The response was…
…No one cares, no knows how I feel
And you say you do, are you for real?
So I with my wall, ensure you stay away
Its all a part of the act I play
To protect myself, this my plan
With my wall, I seek to ban
Those who get too close to me
I need that wall now, don’t you see?
So how can you know me?
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?
I said…
Yes, I have but you would never know
When I dropped that wall, I was able to grow
And move through place and time
And I found all my desires on the other side.
Started February 18, 2008 at 11:22 pm…finished April 8, 2008 at 11:45 pm by Tenisha Godley
The Mourning
It’s late, not because the clock says 11:15 pm, but the air changes…
It’s Late
She sits up with a start, sweating heavily.
She hears the footsteps coming…closer…closer…closer…closer…closer
The door opens and in comes a dark figure.
How could this happen to me? She wonders.
HOW COULD IT HAPPEN? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 3 am, but the air changes….
She sits up with a start, sweating.
The man that’s beside her, what does he know?
What did he see, why is he here? She wonders.
What did I just do? The same empty feeling comes back, again and again.
Why wasn’t my father there when I needed him? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 4 am….
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating heavily. What was that noise?
What just happened? Who is in my room?
No one is there. The noise was the simple turning of a key in a lock.
Why does this keep happening? She wonders.
What is going on? Why am I afraid? Why do I remember? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 5 am…
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating.
Her life flashes before her, the pain from childhood, the many random acts,
The walls she has put build to protect her.
Wall after wall after wall after wall she has built.
She cries as she often does thinking no one would hear, praying all the while.
I hear you, says the voice.
I know your pain,
I see the walls,
The way you have tried not to let others see, I see it all.
Why God did you let it happen?
Why did my father leave me?
Why didn’t my mother believe me?
Why didn’t the men love me?
Why couldn’t I let them in?
Why God, why? If you saw, then why?
Because, says God,
The thing I have called you to is greater than you.
I have been right here the whole time.
The whole time you have been thinking about you,
I have thought of the others you would touch along the way.
The other girls and their brothers, the sons and their mothers.
The ones you pray for, I want them to experience more.
More of me so they can be who they are to be in me!
So you see it’s not about you, the thing I have called you to.
But to complete the work your walls must come down.
When your heart wants to smile your face is frowned.
How can I complete my work?
You constantly think you have no worth.
You are more precious to me than you will ever know.
It is through your life that others will grow.
I know you are afraid, yes it’s true.
But remember it’s what I have called you to.
So trust in me and you shall see,
You are exactly who I created you to be.
The girl begins to pray, pray for those who have entered her life…
Tears flowing down her cheeks she prays for every child that
May personally know her torment,
Every son, daughter, mother and father who may know…
Travailing she prays until her release comes…
It’s mourning.
Written May 15, 2007, 12:48 pm by Tenisha Godley
It’s Late
She sits up with a start, sweating heavily.
She hears the footsteps coming…closer…closer…closer…closer…closer
The door opens and in comes a dark figure.
How could this happen to me? She wonders.
HOW COULD IT HAPPEN? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 3 am, but the air changes….
She sits up with a start, sweating.
The man that’s beside her, what does he know?
What did he see, why is he here? She wonders.
What did I just do? The same empty feeling comes back, again and again.
Why wasn’t my father there when I needed him? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 4 am….
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating heavily. What was that noise?
What just happened? Who is in my room?
No one is there. The noise was the simple turning of a key in a lock.
Why does this keep happening? She wonders.
What is going on? Why am I afraid? Why do I remember? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 5 am…
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating.
Her life flashes before her, the pain from childhood, the many random acts,
The walls she has put build to protect her.
Wall after wall after wall after wall she has built.
She cries as she often does thinking no one would hear, praying all the while.
I hear you, says the voice.
I know your pain,
I see the walls,
The way you have tried not to let others see, I see it all.
Why God did you let it happen?
Why did my father leave me?
Why didn’t my mother believe me?
Why didn’t the men love me?
Why couldn’t I let them in?
Why God, why? If you saw, then why?
Because, says God,
The thing I have called you to is greater than you.
I have been right here the whole time.
The whole time you have been thinking about you,
I have thought of the others you would touch along the way.
The other girls and their brothers, the sons and their mothers.
The ones you pray for, I want them to experience more.
More of me so they can be who they are to be in me!
So you see it’s not about you, the thing I have called you to.
But to complete the work your walls must come down.
When your heart wants to smile your face is frowned.
How can I complete my work?
You constantly think you have no worth.
You are more precious to me than you will ever know.
It is through your life that others will grow.
I know you are afraid, yes it’s true.
But remember it’s what I have called you to.
So trust in me and you shall see,
You are exactly who I created you to be.
The girl begins to pray, pray for those who have entered her life…
Tears flowing down her cheeks she prays for every child that
May personally know her torment,
Every son, daughter, mother and father who may know…
Travailing she prays until her release comes…
It’s mourning.
Written May 15, 2007, 12:48 pm by Tenisha Godley
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