Monday, December 13, 2010

The Throne of Grace...

Ok, so for some reason the word grace had been in my spirit lately. I went to dictionary.com and looked up the word just to see what it meant. According to dictionary.com, grace is defined as the following from a theological standpoint:

a. The freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b. The influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
c. The virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces.
d. Also called the state of grace, the condition of being in God's favor or one of the elect.

Grace in my opinion means to extend favor toward a situation in which it is undeserved or unmerited. In the classroom, if a student has shown effort in the time period toward their work and takes pride in it, then I am more likely to extend grace to that student, though they may not necessarily deserve it.

Why is it that we find it so hard to extend grace to others? Do we honestly feel that we are owed that much that we are not in a position to extend grace to others? Just a random thought...maybe I will expound on it as I walk the walk....

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Broken Building

I had a dream 4 years ago that I still remember very vividly to this day. In my dream, I saw how over a short period of time, a building under which I was standing crumbled. The thing is, nothing catastrophic happened. It was a simple crack in the pillars that held the building together that crumbled one by one. The amazing thing is that the dream never showed the building being reconstructed, and I have never had another dream like it.

That dream though it was brief, however brief showed me a few things. It took a brief time for the building to crumble. In the body of Christ, if we are not constantly feeding ourselves with the Word, then our spiritual lives will crumble. This is not to sound super spiritual, but to state fact. It happens even in the workplace. If an employee works in a company where they are not being nurtured properly, they will wither and die, or they will find other means of recourse. We must constantly check to ensure that we are growing and moving forward. This requires work because we have to look inside ourselves to do so and face some hard truths about ourselves.

Secondly, the crumbling of the building was not an overnight one. Buildings do not fall without notice. In other words, there are signs associated with the process. In either situation, dissatisfaction is one of the biggest red flags that can be thrown. If a person constantly complains, then there lies a cause of their complaint, and chances are they are not happy with their current situation.

It takes longer for a building to be rebuilt than one that was torn down. My dream never showed this part, yet I know that this is a process. One of my church members built a restaurant in about 4 months. Yet, there were tornadoes in my town that destroyed houses. While the houses were rebuilt, it was a process to reconstruct things to the way they once were. It was a process to restore those things to their rightful place. I had a situation occur in my professional life that shook me to my core. While I have since picked up the pieces and moved forward, there are still some places that have to be rebuilt. The trouble is, I didn't know those areas needed to be rebuilt. I just knew that something was missing and I couldn't put my finger on what it was. That's when the impact hit me full throttle.

While the tornado victims' homes were rebuilt, it may be a day where they are looking for something that they lost in that tragedy before it hits them the impact of what has happened to them in the storm. However, the tornado victims had an advantage: they were determined to pick up the pieces and do the work to restore their homes to their rightful place. If only we were so grateful for the grace of God here, because He does it for us. We just get so wrapped up in the social constructs of what has happened to us that we feel it is hard to rebuild the buildings that have been torn down in our lives. We simply have to remember our foundation and move from there. In my dream, the foundation was never shaken. As I move, I intend to remember my true foundation and continue from there.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Butterfly Effect

One of the things I have always found interesting is how one event, one action, one thought or perception can change or alter life as you know it. As adults we often say we want others to be honest with us regarding decisions that are made. But when we receive information and are forced to make a decision, are we really prepared for the consequences that follow? Is the practice of accountability for one's actions truly in place?

I just learned that someone was dismissed for actions that took place outside their normal routine. What's shocking is not the dismissal but the expectation that one would not be held to a standard as to have discipline and respect for their position. Have we become so jaded that this is our norm? To expect that what goes on in privacy has no effect on the light?

In any event, be it personal or professional, perception holds a lot of weight behind events that take place. The irony is that perception is just that, PERCEPTION. At some point in time, one has to step outside themselves and look at the larger picture. For the employee that was dismissed, did that person ever think that a small action would have such a large effect? At what point do we actually look at the consequences of our actions?

A while back, I watched the movie, The Butterfly Effect. The movie focuses on small decisions that have a large impact on the lives of the characters. The crux of the movie is focused on trying to get things back to the way they were originally. The interesting thing is, they never return. The parallel is the same with life. All we have are choices and decisions that lead to more choices and decisions. They all have consequences. We must be willing and able to live with whatever comes our way. To do that, we must be deliberate in our actions. This is a lesson I am learning. I am the person that 'shoots first and asks questions later' and some situations are not as black and white. We have a moral responsibility, an obligation to show decency and courtesy toward one another, otherwise our decisions are one after another, creating chaos.

Monday, November 29, 2010

My Revelations 19:1

When the world has tossed me away, and I come into my own, it is your face I see.

When I have no place to come to, you give me shelter

How did I get so lucky? Bought with a price, debt paid in full…


How can dark days overtake me? How can heaviness bloom?

You are the one, the face I see.

The mere attempt to understand, simply amazes me.


When the world has tossed me away, and I come into my own, it is your face I see.

Those days when I feel less than, I come home to your loving gaze, outstretched arms and warm caress and….

It makes me whole.


I look around and wonder, who could it be?

The one who’s so in love with me?

You see past all my flaws to the heart of me…

And yet still, it’s you I see.


I am so imperfect…and yet to you so perfectly, fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am yours, bought with a price

Although there were impostors and imitators, there can only be one originator…


When the world has tossed me away, and I come into my own, it’s your face I see.

When all others have passed away, yet you stand

Mighty as an oak tree blowing against the wind.


The mere experience perplexes me,

No matter the time, the hour, the day…

I need thee, oh I need thee…every hour, I need thee…


You stand yet with open arms to heal every wound, seen and unseen…

With your healing hands, you cleanse me

All for your admiration.


Why would I have ever doubted you?

You have shown yourself true blue.

Even through the smoky haze, it’s always you…


When the world has tossed me away, and I come into my own, it’s your face I see.

The revelation is simply beyond me.

Simply because I have been chosen…


November 28, 2009 11:42 pm.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Dark Stranger

As I stared into his eyes, I knew, I knew…I knew…
He was just the right type, tall dark and sexy
He was just the right build with the mix of mocha
Dressed to the nines and the smell to match…right up my alley

And yet, something was mysterious about him.
Was it, the way he walked? The way he talked? His style of dress?
I couldn’t shake the feeling that…
There was something different about this man

Or was it?
As I watched him walk away,
I wondered..
Was there something different, or did I just want to see it?

The crazy thing about it is this: prior to this time, never once did you cross my mind
Never once did you have that light
So, what is it? What is the thing that makes you different?
The question plagues me

As I began to undress, again you crossed my mind…
Why now? Why this?
Its funny how the mind works…
How it plays tricks,

Making you think you want what you don’t need
While at the same time rejecting what is meant for you
We think we have control but control has us
He makes us think that its no big deal, when its really quite the opposite

And at the end of the tunnel, he makes us think that we cant come back, won’t come back, shouldn’t come back…be careful of the tall mocha
He has a way of sneaking up on you…making you think your thoughts are you own,
When really they are his creation
Make you think those are your desires
And before you know it, you have been jacked, hemmed and played…

And knowing all this, I still wonder, what is it about this one?
Why is this one so different?
Maybe because this one isn’t it…

watch his ways, his actions, his thoughts
before you find yourself gone too far....only the dark stranger...

Written September 29, 2010 by Tenisha Godley

The Wall

How can you know me?
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?

Maybe you have, but I would never know
The wall, you see, will stop any growth
Stop any movement through place and time
The thing about a wall is that you will find
Everything you want is on the other side.

I asked…
How can I know you?
I only see what you desire
How can I show you?
That I have been through the fire…

And I have but you will never know
I once had a wall and it stopped all growth
All movement through place and time
The thing I found about a wall is that
Everything I desired was on the other side

I formed it because I was hurt
And didn’t want anyone to see
The things that buried were deep inside me.

And even through and through
The light was shed, true blue.
The wall had to fall,
Or I wouldn’t learn at all.

So how can I know you?
I see what you desire.
How can I show you?
I have been through the fire.

Even with my wall,
It had to fall,
But not for me, for you to see.

My path doesn’t have to be your path
My story shouldn’t be your story
From my pain you can gain
Those things, so He can receive glory.

So, I do know you
I can see you
I can show you
I have been through the fire

That wall, that place inside
The wall is used as a place to hide.
It’s a paradox, the wall, you see
Because has you hide, your spirit says come find me….

The response was…
…No one cares, no knows how I feel
And you say you do, are you for real?
So I with my wall, ensure you stay away
Its all a part of the act I play

To protect myself, this my plan
With my wall, I seek to ban
Those who get too close to me
I need that wall now, don’t you see?

So how can you know me?
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?

I said…
Yes, I have but you would never know
When I dropped that wall, I was able to grow
And move through place and time
And I found all my desires on the other side.

Started February 18, 2008 at 11:22 pm…finished April 8, 2008 at 11:45 pm by Tenisha Godley

The Mourning

It’s late, not because the clock says 11:15 pm, but the air changes…
It’s Late
She sits up with a start, sweating heavily.
She hears the footsteps coming…closer…closer…closer…closer…closer
The door opens and in comes a dark figure.
How could this happen to me? She wonders.
HOW COULD IT HAPPEN? She prays, tears streaming down her face.

It’s late, not because the clock says 3 am, but the air changes….
She sits up with a start, sweating.
The man that’s beside her, what does he know?
What did he see, why is he here? She wonders.
What did I just do? The same empty feeling comes back, again and again.
Why wasn’t my father there when I needed him? She prays, tears streaming down her face.

It’s late, not because the clock says 4 am….
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating heavily. What was that noise?
What just happened? Who is in my room?
No one is there. The noise was the simple turning of a key in a lock.
Why does this keep happening? She wonders.
What is going on? Why am I afraid? Why do I remember? She prays, tears streaming down her face.

It’s late, not because the clock says 5 am…
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating.
Her life flashes before her, the pain from childhood, the many random acts,
The walls she has put build to protect her.
Wall after wall after wall after wall she has built.
She cries as she often does thinking no one would hear, praying all the while.

I hear you, says the voice.
I know your pain,
I see the walls,
The way you have tried not to let others see, I see it all.

Why God did you let it happen?
Why did my father leave me?
Why didn’t my mother believe me?
Why didn’t the men love me?
Why couldn’t I let them in?

Why God, why? If you saw, then why?

Because, says God,
The thing I have called you to is greater than you.
I have been right here the whole time.
The whole time you have been thinking about you,
I have thought of the others you would touch along the way.
The other girls and their brothers, the sons and their mothers.
The ones you pray for, I want them to experience more.
More of me so they can be who they are to be in me!
So you see it’s not about you, the thing I have called you to.
But to complete the work your walls must come down.
When your heart wants to smile your face is frowned.
How can I complete my work?
You constantly think you have no worth.
You are more precious to me than you will ever know.
It is through your life that others will grow.
I know you are afraid, yes it’s true.
But remember it’s what I have called you to.
So trust in me and you shall see,
You are exactly who I created you to be.

The girl begins to pray, pray for those who have entered her life…
Tears flowing down her cheeks she prays for every child that
May personally know her torment,
Every son, daughter, mother and father who may know…
Travailing she prays until her release comes…

It’s mourning.

Written May 15, 2007, 12:48 pm by Tenisha Godley

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Don't Take it Personal...

"One of those days...when you wanna be all alone....don't take it personal"

Monica was 14 when she sang this song, yet she was on point. We all go through days and changes that push us away from the fold of people around us. Yet it is frowned upon in society for a person to desire to be alone...

How can one have the desire to be alone? In a world where females outnumber males, it is quite easy. We as women have learned to be 'independent' yet there is a double standard existing, never changing, over looming, no rearranging. This standard says that when it comes to the opposite sex, we are to be 'found', discovered and carefully cultivated by man...who says this has to be the case? Why is this still true? Are we so scary that the mere thought of a woman who knows her own mind is to be reckoned with?

So no, don't take it personal when I brush you aside, don't take it personal when I say you're not my type, don't take it personal when I state you are not on my level. Monica stated she wanted to be all alone...while that is NOT my desire, I DO want the right one...and I am not afraid to step out for what I want. I just hope he won't be afraid of me...

Sunday, October 3, 2010

In Our Eyes

With our faces we can laugh
Our mouth may smile
But our true selves lie
Within our eyes

With our emotions we fool
And act nonchalant
But from the mouth to the eyes
Speaks the abundance of our heart

With our bodies we may act cool, calm and collected
But the eyes tell of a past long ago neglected
Washed away the pain forgotten, the lies
The truth has and always will, remain in our eyes.

July 1, 2007
10:35 pm

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Untitled


How can I know you?

I have never seen you.

How can I smell you? I have never touched you.

Yet…without a shadow of a doubt, I can honestly say I love you.

You are…the air I breathe,

You are…the steps I take.

You are…my other half.

I never knew until you came along that I was incomplete

Yet…you…balance…me

Because of you I believe, I have faith, I trust, I love.

You make me strong when I feel weak.

You hold me when I cry, late at night.

Through it all, you…have…never…left me.

With you I feel secure

It is because of you that I have the will, the strength to do the things I am supposed to do.

I am nothing without you.

I must apologize, there are times that without thinking, understanding, knowing, I forget you.

I take you for granted, I abuse and misuse you.

And you are always there with open arms, ready to love me.

You are my love song.

How did I know you? I had never seen you.

How did I smell you? I had never touched you.

Yet…without a shadow of a doubt, I can honestly say I love you.

You complete me.

Those days when I feel less than, you build me up to my rightful place.

A gentleman to the core, you allow me to come to myself.

Those days when I feel inadequate, you make me feel superior.

When the world has thrown me away, I come home to you

And you make me whole again.

You love me past the pain, the hurt, the strife…

You…never…left me

You balance me, complete me.

I come home and you wrap your arms around me.

Without you I am nothing.

It matters not how you look, because I see you.

It matters not your smell, I touch you.

It matters not your face, I love you.

Because I love you, I pray for you.

I cover you, I help to birth your purpose

I support you, I submit to you.

I become who you need

And you allow me to be me

Those days when you feel less than,

I build you up, restore you to your rightful place.

I cover you, you cover me.

How did I know you? I never saw you.

How did I smell you? I never touched you.

Yet, I can honestly say I love you.

Written March 23, 2008, 8:18 am by Tenisha Godley

Monday, July 12, 2010

The Glow...

It's funny how we as singles often wish for a mate, but we fail to consider the ultimate mate of all: Jesus Christ. I mean, how many men can you honestly say have been there from Day1, never changes, always loves and trusts us? I was talking to one of my friends a few days ago, and she made mention of a 'glow' that I had about me...of course the next question was who made me glow in such a nature? My simple response...I am all the more grateful for the presence in my life...I would admonish those who wish and desire for a mate to become whole and complete in who they are prior to adding someone else to the equation...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Right Door

I was talking to one of my friends about a dream that I had a few days back. Somehow it has been revealed to me that as a single female, I am most secure in those things which are familiar. It is a natural inclination for me upon entering my house to lock my door behind me. This habit is something that has been ingrained in me for as long as I can remember. Looking around at my single friends, this habit is not one that is out of the norm. However, when observing the habits of married females, different norms apply. For example, I think nothing of walking into the house of one of my married friends, for the door is usually unlocked, signifying the husband is home...

When I made this observation, I made the parallel to God. Why not put our faith and trust in Him, as a married woman would her husband, and be secure enough to leave a simple front door unlocked? Why is it that we say we trust God, yet we look constantly for our own solutions to problems in which He has control? As a single woman, I hear other single women talk of getting married and 'finding their Boaz', (which irritates me to no end, but that's another soapbox moment) however I would venture to say that one will not be brought to you until you learn to trust God with all security. My pastor stated years ago "God will never answer a prayer that makes him unnecessary." If such a request were granted before time, how then would you treat God? He has opened the door, it is up to us to walk through.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Purpose Driven Life

Today, as I was snowed in with some of my friends, we were discussing the purpose for which we were created. All of us have different aspirations, goals and dreams, however, one commonality remains: our dreams all have been God-ordained. I had the thought though, why is it that some people are afraid to live within the purposes for which they have been created? Is it that we are so afraid to fail? I would venture to say that it is not the fear of failure, but the fear of success that most drives us. Success requires responsibility. If we do the thing that we are called to do, and we are successful, then we are lifted to a higher level, and thereby are expected to do more for the glory of God. It is therefore, easier to sit and say that we can't do or complete our purpose because in that respect, we won't have any responsibilities.

My challenge is this: why not live the purpose driven life and complete tasks for the glory of God? As we complete those tasks, others around us are inspired to do the same. Is that not our grand purpose?

Friday, January 29, 2010

The Most Amazing Gift

So, I had the random thought this week...we go to God and ask for forgiveness for our transgressions, and He forgives us. Our wrongdoing is then forgotten about, as if it never happened. If God has the infinite ability to forget, why can't we? I think that is an amazing gift, the ability to not remember. It reminds me of the child-like faith that we once possessed, but have forgotten how to practice. Children are interesting in that respect. If you have ever watched two kids playing, one will get mad at the other over a toy. Five minutes later, it's as if nothing has happened. How I strive to have that mindset daily. I think that we should make a conscious choice daily to live as God lived. What do we have to lose?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

What Have You Done for Your Fellow Man??

In light of the recent tragedy that has gone on in Haiti, several organizations have stepped up to the plate to make contributions to the island nation. However, the sad fact remains that there are some individuals who use such a plight to make money for themselves. Such scams have a way of quickly surfacing, as the deal often seems too good to be true: American Airlines providing free flights for doctors and nurses going to Haiti...UPS shipping packages for free that weigh in under 50 lbs, just to name a few. The following website, http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/impact, has a list of reputable organizations who are GENUINELY interested in contributing to Haiti.



That brush aside, when such tragedies occur, I often wonder: Why is it that there is a sudden rush to help out or make charitable contributions? What happened to the society in which one volunteered because it was the right thing to do, and not simply because there was a natural disaster or crisis going on in a certain city, state or country? Have we become that involved in our lives that this is no longer a part of our agendas? Take for example, the Salvation Army. The agency is inundated with individuals who need assistance all year, yet we never think of them until Christmastime. And to think, the organization had to significantly reduce the amount of disbursments made this year because of a company who wrote a phony check for 25,000.



NOW is the time to get involved with your communities on a regular and continual basis, regardless of any plight or natural disaster. As a whole, we should find a way to give back to our respective communities, to build ourselves back up to our rightful place. The challenge we have before us is to contribute to and do the work that will rebuild our sense of charity, so that when a disaster like the one in Haiti strikes, we are already in place to lend a helping hand. What will you do for your fellow man today?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Beginnings

One the most interesting things about January comes from the resolutions people often make to look forward to the year ahead, and in so doing, make choices that will ultimately affect their destinies. The New Year signifies the beginning of new things, a chance to start over again. We get excited over the chance to begin again, to start anew. However, we often fail to realize that the choice of beginning remains with us. It is our choice of whether or not we consciously change the decisions of yesterday into the promise of tomorrow.

Why, then, are we making those choices at the beginning of a year? The wonderful realization about God is that He gives us the chance to make the choice for Him DAILY...it is not a time of resolution with Him. He allows us to take the stand and choose him daily. And when we make the choice, he doesn't look back. Why then should we? When you resolve to stand for Christ, everyday is a new beginning. That, to me, is simply remarkable.