As I stared into his eyes, I knew, I knew…I knew…
He was just the right type, tall dark and sexy
He was just the right build with the mix of mocha
Dressed to the nines and the smell to match…right up my alley
And yet, something was mysterious about him.
Was it, the way he walked? The way he talked? His style of dress?
I couldn’t shake the feeling that…
There was something different about this man
Or was it?
As I watched him walk away,
I wondered..
Was there something different, or did I just want to see it?
The crazy thing about it is this: prior to this time, never once did you cross my mind
Never once did you have that light
So, what is it? What is the thing that makes you different?
The question plagues me
As I began to undress, again you crossed my mind…
Why now? Why this?
Its funny how the mind works…
How it plays tricks,
Making you think you want what you don’t need
While at the same time rejecting what is meant for you
We think we have control but control has us
He makes us think that its no big deal, when its really quite the opposite
And at the end of the tunnel, he makes us think that we cant come back, won’t come back, shouldn’t come back…be careful of the tall mocha
He has a way of sneaking up on you…making you think your thoughts are you own,
When really they are his creation
Make you think those are your desires
And before you know it, you have been jacked, hemmed and played…
And knowing all this, I still wonder, what is it about this one?
Why is this one so different?
Maybe because this one isn’t it…
watch his ways, his actions, his thoughts
before you find yourself gone too far....only the dark stranger...
Written September 29, 2010 by Tenisha Godley
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Wall
How can you know me?
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?
Maybe you have, but I would never know
The wall, you see, will stop any growth
Stop any movement through place and time
The thing about a wall is that you will find
Everything you want is on the other side.
I asked…
How can I know you?
I only see what you desire
How can I show you?
That I have been through the fire…
And I have but you will never know
I once had a wall and it stopped all growth
All movement through place and time
The thing I found about a wall is that
Everything I desired was on the other side
I formed it because I was hurt
And didn’t want anyone to see
The things that buried were deep inside me.
And even through and through
The light was shed, true blue.
The wall had to fall,
Or I wouldn’t learn at all.
So how can I know you?
I see what you desire.
How can I show you?
I have been through the fire.
Even with my wall,
It had to fall,
But not for me, for you to see.
My path doesn’t have to be your path
My story shouldn’t be your story
From my pain you can gain
Those things, so He can receive glory.
So, I do know you
I can see you
I can show you
I have been through the fire
That wall, that place inside
The wall is used as a place to hide.
It’s a paradox, the wall, you see
Because has you hide, your spirit says come find me….
The response was…
…No one cares, no knows how I feel
And you say you do, are you for real?
So I with my wall, ensure you stay away
Its all a part of the act I play
To protect myself, this my plan
With my wall, I seek to ban
Those who get too close to me
I need that wall now, don’t you see?
So how can you know me?
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?
I said…
Yes, I have but you would never know
When I dropped that wall, I was able to grow
And move through place and time
And I found all my desires on the other side.
Started February 18, 2008 at 11:22 pm…finished April 8, 2008 at 11:45 pm by Tenisha Godley
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?
Maybe you have, but I would never know
The wall, you see, will stop any growth
Stop any movement through place and time
The thing about a wall is that you will find
Everything you want is on the other side.
I asked…
How can I know you?
I only see what you desire
How can I show you?
That I have been through the fire…
And I have but you will never know
I once had a wall and it stopped all growth
All movement through place and time
The thing I found about a wall is that
Everything I desired was on the other side
I formed it because I was hurt
And didn’t want anyone to see
The things that buried were deep inside me.
And even through and through
The light was shed, true blue.
The wall had to fall,
Or I wouldn’t learn at all.
So how can I know you?
I see what you desire.
How can I show you?
I have been through the fire.
Even with my wall,
It had to fall,
But not for me, for you to see.
My path doesn’t have to be your path
My story shouldn’t be your story
From my pain you can gain
Those things, so He can receive glory.
So, I do know you
I can see you
I can show you
I have been through the fire
That wall, that place inside
The wall is used as a place to hide.
It’s a paradox, the wall, you see
Because has you hide, your spirit says come find me….
The response was…
…No one cares, no knows how I feel
And you say you do, are you for real?
So I with my wall, ensure you stay away
Its all a part of the act I play
To protect myself, this my plan
With my wall, I seek to ban
Those who get too close to me
I need that wall now, don’t you see?
So how can you know me?
You only see what I desire.
How can you show me?
Have you been through the fire?
I said…
Yes, I have but you would never know
When I dropped that wall, I was able to grow
And move through place and time
And I found all my desires on the other side.
Started February 18, 2008 at 11:22 pm…finished April 8, 2008 at 11:45 pm by Tenisha Godley
The Mourning
It’s late, not because the clock says 11:15 pm, but the air changes…
It’s Late
She sits up with a start, sweating heavily.
She hears the footsteps coming…closer…closer…closer…closer…closer
The door opens and in comes a dark figure.
How could this happen to me? She wonders.
HOW COULD IT HAPPEN? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 3 am, but the air changes….
She sits up with a start, sweating.
The man that’s beside her, what does he know?
What did he see, why is he here? She wonders.
What did I just do? The same empty feeling comes back, again and again.
Why wasn’t my father there when I needed him? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 4 am….
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating heavily. What was that noise?
What just happened? Who is in my room?
No one is there. The noise was the simple turning of a key in a lock.
Why does this keep happening? She wonders.
What is going on? Why am I afraid? Why do I remember? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 5 am…
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating.
Her life flashes before her, the pain from childhood, the many random acts,
The walls she has put build to protect her.
Wall after wall after wall after wall she has built.
She cries as she often does thinking no one would hear, praying all the while.
I hear you, says the voice.
I know your pain,
I see the walls,
The way you have tried not to let others see, I see it all.
Why God did you let it happen?
Why did my father leave me?
Why didn’t my mother believe me?
Why didn’t the men love me?
Why couldn’t I let them in?
Why God, why? If you saw, then why?
Because, says God,
The thing I have called you to is greater than you.
I have been right here the whole time.
The whole time you have been thinking about you,
I have thought of the others you would touch along the way.
The other girls and their brothers, the sons and their mothers.
The ones you pray for, I want them to experience more.
More of me so they can be who they are to be in me!
So you see it’s not about you, the thing I have called you to.
But to complete the work your walls must come down.
When your heart wants to smile your face is frowned.
How can I complete my work?
You constantly think you have no worth.
You are more precious to me than you will ever know.
It is through your life that others will grow.
I know you are afraid, yes it’s true.
But remember it’s what I have called you to.
So trust in me and you shall see,
You are exactly who I created you to be.
The girl begins to pray, pray for those who have entered her life…
Tears flowing down her cheeks she prays for every child that
May personally know her torment,
Every son, daughter, mother and father who may know…
Travailing she prays until her release comes…
It’s mourning.
Written May 15, 2007, 12:48 pm by Tenisha Godley
It’s Late
She sits up with a start, sweating heavily.
She hears the footsteps coming…closer…closer…closer…closer…closer
The door opens and in comes a dark figure.
How could this happen to me? She wonders.
HOW COULD IT HAPPEN? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 3 am, but the air changes….
She sits up with a start, sweating.
The man that’s beside her, what does he know?
What did he see, why is he here? She wonders.
What did I just do? The same empty feeling comes back, again and again.
Why wasn’t my father there when I needed him? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 4 am….
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating heavily. What was that noise?
What just happened? Who is in my room?
No one is there. The noise was the simple turning of a key in a lock.
Why does this keep happening? She wonders.
What is going on? Why am I afraid? Why do I remember? She prays, tears streaming down her face.
It’s late, not because the clock says 5 am…
The air changes. She sits up with a start, sweating.
Her life flashes before her, the pain from childhood, the many random acts,
The walls she has put build to protect her.
Wall after wall after wall after wall she has built.
She cries as she often does thinking no one would hear, praying all the while.
I hear you, says the voice.
I know your pain,
I see the walls,
The way you have tried not to let others see, I see it all.
Why God did you let it happen?
Why did my father leave me?
Why didn’t my mother believe me?
Why didn’t the men love me?
Why couldn’t I let them in?
Why God, why? If you saw, then why?
Because, says God,
The thing I have called you to is greater than you.
I have been right here the whole time.
The whole time you have been thinking about you,
I have thought of the others you would touch along the way.
The other girls and their brothers, the sons and their mothers.
The ones you pray for, I want them to experience more.
More of me so they can be who they are to be in me!
So you see it’s not about you, the thing I have called you to.
But to complete the work your walls must come down.
When your heart wants to smile your face is frowned.
How can I complete my work?
You constantly think you have no worth.
You are more precious to me than you will ever know.
It is through your life that others will grow.
I know you are afraid, yes it’s true.
But remember it’s what I have called you to.
So trust in me and you shall see,
You are exactly who I created you to be.
The girl begins to pray, pray for those who have entered her life…
Tears flowing down her cheeks she prays for every child that
May personally know her torment,
Every son, daughter, mother and father who may know…
Travailing she prays until her release comes…
It’s mourning.
Written May 15, 2007, 12:48 pm by Tenisha Godley
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Don't Take it Personal...
"One of those days...when you wanna be all alone....don't take it personal"
Monica was 14 when she sang this song, yet she was on point. We all go through days and changes that push us away from the fold of people around us. Yet it is frowned upon in society for a person to desire to be alone...
How can one have the desire to be alone? In a world where females outnumber males, it is quite easy. We as women have learned to be 'independent' yet there is a double standard existing, never changing, over looming, no rearranging. This standard says that when it comes to the opposite sex, we are to be 'found', discovered and carefully cultivated by man...who says this has to be the case? Why is this still true? Are we so scary that the mere thought of a woman who knows her own mind is to be reckoned with?
So no, don't take it personal when I brush you aside, don't take it personal when I say you're not my type, don't take it personal when I state you are not on my level. Monica stated she wanted to be all alone...while that is NOT my desire, I DO want the right one...and I am not afraid to step out for what I want. I just hope he won't be afraid of me...
Monica was 14 when she sang this song, yet she was on point. We all go through days and changes that push us away from the fold of people around us. Yet it is frowned upon in society for a person to desire to be alone...
How can one have the desire to be alone? In a world where females outnumber males, it is quite easy. We as women have learned to be 'independent' yet there is a double standard existing, never changing, over looming, no rearranging. This standard says that when it comes to the opposite sex, we are to be 'found', discovered and carefully cultivated by man...who says this has to be the case? Why is this still true? Are we so scary that the mere thought of a woman who knows her own mind is to be reckoned with?
So no, don't take it personal when I brush you aside, don't take it personal when I say you're not my type, don't take it personal when I state you are not on my level. Monica stated she wanted to be all alone...while that is NOT my desire, I DO want the right one...and I am not afraid to step out for what I want. I just hope he won't be afraid of me...
Sunday, October 3, 2010
In Our Eyes
With our faces we can laugh
Our mouth may smile
But our true selves lie
Within our eyes
With our emotions we fool
And act nonchalant
But from the mouth to the eyes
Speaks the abundance of our heart
With our bodies we may act cool, calm and collected
But the eyes tell of a past long ago neglected
Washed away the pain forgotten, the lies
The truth has and always will, remain in our eyes.
July 1, 2007
10:35 pm
With our faces we can laugh
Our mouth may smile
But our true selves lie
Within our eyes
With our emotions we fool
And act nonchalant
But from the mouth to the eyes
Speaks the abundance of our heart
With our bodies we may act cool, calm and collected
But the eyes tell of a past long ago neglected
Washed away the pain forgotten, the lies
The truth has and always will, remain in our eyes.
July 1, 2007
10:35 pm
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